So, you’ve found yourself with a new family dynamic! Let me share a powerful idea that could be a game-changer for your mental health and help strengthen your relationships.
Now, brace yourself, because you might not like it at first.
A part of you, particularly your inner child, might already be kicking up a fuss. That part of you may be dragging you into a victim mentality. We take our ‘inner child’ with you on this journey and any unresolved issues it holds will be upfront and negging at you with all the full force of a tantruming child.
And it’s time to reclaim your power.
The key word here is ‘entitlement,’ and the idea is that you are NOT entitled to anything.
Let me explain.
You’re not entitled to the truth.
You’re going to have to live with a lot of ‘we don’t know.’ Our brains are wired to make sense of things, so we often create narratives—sometimes on behalf of others. Here’s the kicker: you may never uncover the full truth. Over time, people reshape their memories, and those become their truths. You need to make peace with not knowing everything and be okay with that. Don’t push for a singular truth because, quite frankly, there isn’t one. It’s just the situation as it is. Don’t assume you know other people’s motives. You’re not entitled to know everything, so let it go.
You’re not entitled to any kind of wealth.
Take my new sister, for example, she had a completely different childhood to mine. My adult self was unfazed, but for a brief moment, my inner child fixated on the fact that she had a pony growing up. I was the kid running around to the ‘Black Beauty’ theme with not even a broomstick between my legs. I don’t even recall wanting a horse as a child. But suddenly, that pony became a symbol of the childhood I didn’t have. My adult self has since fallen off horses and won’t be getting back on anytime soon…
You’ve got to listen for that child’s voice in your head and ensure that this part of you doesn’t lead you into distorted thinking. You can’t change the past, and no amount of material compensation will alter it. If you allow yourself to get caught up in comparisons, which can breed jealousy, you’ll find yourself emotionally adrift. Be kind to your inner child and be the best parent you can be to it. Work this though with a counsellor. Give the inner child its voice, but not its control over the narrative.
Entitlement is the enemy of gratitude, and gratitude is the key to genuine happiness.
Instead, focus on holding onto your power, the life you’ve built, and the opportunities you’ve created. There are no sliding doors, just a supportive universe that’s on your side.
Everything happens for a reason, even if you don’t see it yet. Don’t let an entitlement mindset trap you in a victim role, where you lose the ability to discern what’s right for you and end up living by ‘shoulds.’
Many spiritual teachings talk about the power of surrender, which might sound contradictory—how can there be power in surrender? But letting go and going with the flow is one of the most powerful things you can do. It allows you to navigate life with ease.
This doesn’t mean abandoning boundaries when it comes to others, but don’t tie yourself up in self-righteous thoughts—they’ll consume your happiness from within!